Christmas at Bev’s

(to be read in the voice of Morgan Freeman)

Christmas at Bev’s,
would make the Grinch take pause,
the woman out did
even Santa Claus!

Cookies were made,
all one million and two,
some formed like dinosaurs,
in greens and blue.

Beverly Jones,
the baker,
kneaded and iced,
but every year she paid
a heavy price.

The relatives would come;
sit merry and talk,
as the kiddies line up
for the stocking walk.

They ate and ate
and ate some more,
hoping when they leave
they fit through the front door.

At times,
when Bev baked,
she felt manic and wired,
Other times she felt,
exhausted and tired.

THo Bev,
so gracious,
Never made a peep
she even baked cookies
in her sleep!

Then one year,
the time had come,
when Bev bravely announced
she was finally done!

The family all gasped!
They were in a state Of shock,
until a niece
looked in the fridge taking stock.

One egg,
a jar of pickles,
Garlic
and green goop.
The niece then announced
they were making
Christmas soup.

She hastily donned an apron
to stir the strange stew
And asked for volunteers
to be her kitchen crew.

They cooked,
they simmered
they set the oven
to bake.
It was a feast made in Hell
for Satan’s wicked wake.

Even Uncle “so and so”
as all in a flutter
Lost his prosthetic eye
in the food clutter.

Looking more like witches
from the infamous
Macbeth,
The family had fun cooking,
This unholy Christmas mess.

When dinner was hatched,
they all sat around,
Looking rather nervous,
No one made a sound.

Bev-
A mother,
Grandmother,
Sister,
Aunt and
Friend,
raised her spoon heavenward and said,
“lets all begin!”

A grandkid poked at
his dastardly soup,
Asking in earnest if
This was reindeer poop.

Bev cleared her throat and raised
her merry glass,
gave Christmas thanks
with grace and class.

She said,
“You may think this foods
terrible,
but that’s not what I see,
It’s spending time
With family
is what Christmas
was meant to be!”